salam dan slmt pagi
dh lama tk update blog ni...bukannya apa tk ada cite menarik nk share n yg paling penting mood takde.tp ari ni aku gagahkan diri nk update jgk blog ni.klu ikutkan aku nk letak tajuknya 'Make him weak for u" tp takut jd salah fhm plak...tk pasal2 kne diklasifikasikan sbg 18SX...
berbalik kepada cite di atas.spt biasa lh aku akan dpt email dr Ms Rori ni.kali ni ms rori ni ajar aku mcmana nk jadi Strong on the inside,Soft on the outside atau bahasa melayunya kuat didalam dan lembut secara luaran...mulanya aku mcm tk phm tp pas aku baca berulang kali baru leh phm..tp aku tk akan alih bhs ayat ni yek sbb ble dialih bhs takut jd lain plak.maklumlah aku ni bkn penterjemah.So meh kte nengok apa kata ms rori ni..
My concept of Strong on the Inside, Soft on the Outside - that I call "Strong Surrender" - will change your life overnight.
I mean that - overnight.
How can that be? How can you change your life so fast?
Because if you've been "Strong" on the outside, and Soft on the inside...what that looks like on your outside is "hard". And that means connecting with a man is just that - hard.
To help you TALK to a man in a way that lets him connect with you, makes him want to open up his heart and LOVE you - it takes words. The right words. The ones that bring you love instead of pushing it away. The ones that help you stay Strong On the Inside and Soft on the Outside.
Dear Siti zuraida bt rajab,
If you're enduring a romantic situation - even a first date, where you just KNOW this man is as attracted to you as you are to him - but he just doesn't seem to be stepping up in any way to get another date with you, or move the relationship forward, or spend the time and attention you want - this letter will help you.
The question to ask is not: "What's going on with HIM" - but: Am I so afraid of being seen as "weak" that I can't let him see ME?
How does Strong Surrender and Strong and Soft work? And the question I'm always asked is: What's wrong with me being STRONG?!
Here's the answer:
Being strong is fantastic. It's WHERE you choose to be strong that makes the difference.
On your inside, strong feels like confidence.
It feels like a rock you can depend on, a tree going down your back and into the earth. It feels like a foundation for your personal power. It feels like a place you can always rely on. It feels like trust.
But - when you put that "strong" on your OUTSIDE - it looks and feels HARD. It feels like armor. Like a wall. Like an emotional block between you and a man.
To a man - it feels like "mind" instead of "heart."
It feels like he's talking to your brain instead of to your soul.
And, in this day and age, when we women are all taking care of ourselves financially and logistically, and often running businesses and companies and raising children alone, too - it's very uncomfortable to even THINK about relinquishing some of that "strength."
We don't want to ever, ever, ever, appear "weak."
We don't want to ever, ever, ever have to depend on a man.
For anything.
And that's where we lose our chance at love.
That's where we push men and love away.
Giving up that strength, that armor, that wall, that "thing" between us and what feels like disaster, abandonment, betrayal, and everything else our minds can think up that would hurt us...
...that's something we're often not willing to do.
So - I want to make it EASY for you!
I want you to find the POETRY of you - who you really are, and let THAT out, so that "soft" can mean something different for you. So that "weak" can have it's place inside you, and you can be unafraid to let it be seen sometimes!
So - What's the difference between being "Soft" and being "weak"?
Weak is sometimes how we feel. We feel not-in- control (we're hardly ever in control anyway - but sometimes it feels worse than others).
Soft is the way our hearts and minds create an OPENNESS around us, so that love can get in, and our feelings can get out - even the feeling we call "weak."
We're all very smart, very clever, very defended. We don't want anyone to see how films about animals make us cry, or our scrap booking, or all the mistakes we made and continue to make around everything in life.
We don't want anyone to see that we're lonely, or frightened, or exuberant about the simplest things. We don't want anyone to see us being childlike and hopeful.
So we cultivate our intellect, our opinions, our thoughts on where we've been and where we're going.
Here's my own story about Softness:
I was in the kitchen eating what I'd cooked, when my husband walked in. I have a horrible history of burning food. There was the time when I retreated to the microwave, defeated, afraid my absent-mindedness would burn the house down (talk about repressed rage).
In the last few weeks I'd been trying the stove again - scheduling cooking time, staying put in the kitchen, turning on the timer, sharpening my attention, and not burning anything! "I'm cured!" I think.
"I'm a cook! I'm not a menace, I can do this!" And the ground turkey I cooked in the pan smelled very nice on my plate.
And he says, alarm and accusation in his voice, "Did you burn something?"
"No!" I look up at him in shock.
"It smells like you burned something. Something's burned." and he walks into the kitchen.
"No, no!" I defend, going for the pan, picking it up to show him, feeling five years old and incompetent. "It's just nicely brown, see?" I say forcefully, totally righteously. It's his nose that's wrong.
"Well, it smells like something's burned."
All of a sudden I get what I really feel. Yes, I'm five. I screw up my face and do big time mock crying and whining. "But I didn't burn it!" I wail. "I didn't...." and I go all gooey, pan in my hand, miserable.
And in that second, my husband does a 180.
His eyes go deep and very blue-green, he smiles so fast I'm taken aback, and he comes towards me, arms around me, "Ohhhhhhh," he says.
And that's the end of it.
"So, how's your day?" he skips right to his next thought, and he's standing right up against me, and we're connected, and I leap from five- year-old to grownup, from lump to goddess.
Long ago, whenever this happened, I used to think it was because he was competitive and didn't want me to be big. I thought he liked me girly and the loser at chess and gin rummy. I thought he was scared of my fortitude. Now I know that's not it at all.
He just likes me better soft.
He likes me better where I am than where I wish I was.
He likes me better human than mistake-proof.
And by liking me better this way, he encourages me to rise to the ultimate test of any relationship:
He inspires me to say that I like myself best when I'm with him.
Now - to many of us - this story makes me out to just, well, weak.
But the truth is - you have to be really, really STRONG INSIDE in order to let the feeling of weakness express itself out of your SOFT OUTSIDE.
And the reason it's such a powerful thing for a man is that HE feels so mushy soft on HIS OUTSIDE (yes he does!) - that seeing you allow yourself to let the walls down and let yourself be seen by him registers to him as an absolute act of TRUST.
It makes him feel valued. It makes him feel like a good man.
AND - it makes him feel that HE can open up to YOU!
Once you've made the decision to try this - to go for Strong Surrender - what you need most are WORDS.
Because expressing this new dimension of yourself, and learning this new way of "being" requires a new VOCABULARY.
I don't want you standing there not knowing what you feel or how to say what you feel.
Secara kesimpulannya,kadang-kadang kte perlu jadi lembut supaya lelaki nampak kekuatan kte didalamnya...mereka ni tk suka nengok kte ni kuat sangat sbb kte ni bukan ahli bina badan....mereka nk kte yg lemah lembut tetapi ada kekuatan dalaman..itu aje yg blh aku bgtau..tp terpulang pada korang samada setuju atau tak ngan apa yg aku ckp ni...
